Wow, it's been over three years since I published a post here. I would like to start writing again, so hopefully there will be more posts to come.
I recently finished celebrity Matthew Perry's memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing". I was enthralled the entire time and continue to find myself thinking about the words of the book. Perry describes his 53 years in lurid detail, revolving much around what he describes as his "big terrible thing" - alcoholism and opioid addiction. He painstakingly discusses the shocking depths of the trenches addiction placed in his life. It has almost killed him multiple times, and even though he is clean and sober now, the darkness threatens to overshadow him regularly.
I believe that addiction is a disease. I really do. The continual choice to engage in addiction, however, is sin. Most of us are not addicts, at least not to drugs or alcohol. What we do have in common is the weight that unchecked sin has on our lives. Romans 3:23 tells us that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God". None of us are immune to it or its effects. Note that the text does not differentiate here between sins; it doesn't matter if your poison is drugs, lust, pride, gluttony, or gossip and divisiveness. Each and every one of those things separate us from God. "The wages of sin is death..." (Romans 6:23a); it's literally going to kill you without intervention. And like addiction, sin will continue to pull you down - and it will keep creeping back up even when you think you're on the right track.
There's good news for us sinners: "...but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (6:23b). The thing about this gift though, is that you have to accept it. It's freely offered but not applied until you put it to use - like a coupon that comes in the mail that you have to redeem to get the savings. The Bible explains exactly what one must do to accept it: "If you declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved" (10:9).
You may be thinking, "This is basic. I already know this; I'm already a Christian." Great! Do we understand, though, how much our sins affect us? Christ died for all sins and we are redeemed - still saved, still going to heaven. However, unchecked and repeated sin damages our relationship with God - even if it doesn't hurt anyone else, even if it isn't illegal, or what we deem as "wicked". We know that there aren't degrees of sin, but let's face it, we often act like there are.
There is a specific sin that I struggle with daily; I'm ashamed to admit it, but oftentimes I judge people in my head and think negatively about them, comparing their sins to mine and concluding that somehow they are worse than me. I never verbalize these thoughts to people; I'm not a mean person. I try my best to be friendly and kind regardless of what might cross my mind when I think about them. But this internal habit is still awfully ugly - it is unkind, it puts my pride on full display, and it isn't holy.
In order for me to be able to fully accept God's grace, I must recognize my desperate need for it. Kyle Idleman discusses this and more in his book, "Grace is Greater". We are depraved because of all of our sins, even the private ones that only God knows about. We must realize that our own sin is tantamount to everyone else's, and that our need is fierce. In I Timothy 1:15, Paul says, "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst".
As Christians, I believe that our "big terrible thing" is sin, and the sin you struggle with the most specifically. Remember, our big terrible thing separates us from God and we need his grace and mercy daily. Take your sin seriously. Don't just blow it off because you know you're forgiven, or because you think it is insignificant. Take responsibility, and repent. Commune with God regularly and strive for holiness. II Timothy 1:15 says this; "...who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began." Read also I Peter 1:15-16.
Reflect: What is your "big terrible thing"? Have you ever stopped to think that you are the worst of sinners? How does this realization make you feel? Do you think that regular confession and repentance is important?
