True Biblical Love...

I posted this message (which I have added to a little bit here) as a status update on my personal Facebook page prior to the election. I feel like it is still worth meditating on.

Let's talk l❤ve this morning. Please don't keep scrolling - this is important.
Do we love the non-Christians in our world?

- Your gay neighbor that disgusts you and gets on your nerves?
- The atheist on your Facebook that frustrates you?
- The Muslim family in the store that scares you?
- The girl who had an abortion because she felt like she couldn't raise her child without a good support system?
- The young man who got burned by the church a few too many times and hesitates to try again?
- The biker with all the tattoos that you're convinced is a druggie?
- The family on welfare that you think contributes nothing to society?

Of course we do, we say. "Love the sinner, hate the sin". But do we really?

As we all probably know, the Bible tells us what love is in 1 Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6 (NCV)  Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud.

Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done.

Love is not happy with evil but is happy with the truth.

 So ask yourself again...
Are we patient with them?
Are we kind to them?
Do we make sure not to look down on them?
Do we admit that we are not better than them?
Are we certain not to keep a record of their wrongs?***

Do we really love them, or do we just say that we do?

It really puts things into perspective. We all (self included) need to make sure we are going by the Bible's standards and not our own. Our fickle, human thoughts and emotions can make us think we are righteous and mighty - But if it doesn't align with God's word, we are doing it wrong.

❤

Image from http://indulgy.com/post/WwKfJHCNS1/love-according-to-god

When Christians Vilify Abortion but Shirk Adoption

 With less than a month until we elect the next president, I thought it fitting to address something that is very, very heavy on my heart. It actually has little to to with who you vote for, but more a consideration I want all Christians to make.

One of the main topics conservatives identify as a deciding factor when choosing a politician to endorse is abortion.

Abortion, ugh. Such an uncomfortable, detestable, hot-button word among evangelical Christians; rightfully so, as it is in complete opposition to one of the simplest yet irrevocably foundational commandments given to us: Thou Shalt Not Kill. One would be hard-pressed to find any southern evangelical who thinks it's okay to abort a child.

We have a REAL crisis here.

Let's picture for a moment, a pregnant mother, who for whatever reason does not want to keep her unborn baby. There is a life growing inside of her, a blameless life that could potentially increase the kingdom of God; and so, because we wholeheartedly believe in the sanctity of life, and the Truth in God's word, we assert that she cannot abort the baby, and further that abortion should be illegal.

Okay, so that makes sense...but what other options does this mother have?

• 1) Give the baby up for adoption
• 2) Keep the baby anyway, even though she doesn't want to, or cannot care for the child.

Let that sink in for a minute.

........

Either way I look at it, the options aren't great. We often suggest that there are people out there that would just love to be parents, so obviously, just let a loving couple have the child.

But is it so simple? Have you checked out the number of children in your state already waiting for a forever home? Maybe the mother decided that she couldn't or didn't want to raise the child, but she didn't want to abort it. Maybe the child was removed from his or her biological home due to abuse or neglect. Maybe his or her parents died. Over 2,000 children are waiting for a home at this very moment in Tennessee; we have literally hundreds of thousands waiting all over the United States...

Where are all the Christian families lined up to take a child home with them?

Honestly, it really doesn't matter who you vote for on this issue, because the real problem remains.
By all means, vote...but please, sincerely please, realize that even if we vote in a president who really can and will ensure that legal abortion is eradicated from our culture, it will not change two things:

1) the fact that there will always be pregnant mothers who either can't or won't take care of their children, and

2) that we have an era of Christians who refuse to open their homes to babies who weren't aborted.

We have a real crisis going on, and I daresay it is not abortion. The crisis lies in the fact that we have so many needing homes already and not enough Christians to help out. I shudder to say this, but think about how much greater the number of children waiting would be if those aborted were alive.

Adoption honestly is not for our benefit; it's not just to make or complete a family. It is for God, a display of obedience to care for the least of these (see Matthew 25:34-46), to be obedient to the cause for Christ no matter the cost. It may be hard; it may be uncomfortable. However, we were not called to a life of ease, comfort, and complacency.

"If 1 family in every 3 churches in the US adopted a waiting child, every waiting child in the US would have a forever family."

With all of this being said, I understand that just going out and adopting a child is not always a simple choice or process. There are many factors to consider, especially if you already have biological children. If cost is an issue, please know that you can adopt from your state agency at little to no cost, and you will receive the education for how to care for them.

"33% of Americans consider adoption. 79% of those are concerned about the costs, the biggest deterrent. Less than 2% adopt"

All I can ask of you is that you sincerely pray for God's will to be evident in your life and that you will heed his call if and when the answer is yes...

For more info in fostering or adopting, visit:

http: www.youthvillages.org
http://omnifosteradoption.theomnifamily.com/
https://www.tn.gov/dcs/section/foster-care-adoption
http://tennesseechildren.org/foster-care/
http: www.abbafund.org
http://icareaboutorphans.org/consideringadoption/waitingkidsinyourstate/

Photo credit to America Adopts 

 (I do not support abortion. I find it to be irresponsible at best and devastating at its worst. It is not an acceptable form of birth control, and it deeply wounds in psychological ways. I do think there is mercy and grace for anyone and everyone who asks for forgiveness, including of this act. Please understand that I am simply bringing an important, alternative viewpoint to the issue and the ramifications of such, that is sadly not discussed enough).

When an Estrangement becomes Permanent: Losing a Parent

As I was looking for a special frame to put your photo in, I kept finding these cute ones that said “#1 Dad” and “World’s Best Dad”. I couldn’t bring myself to buy one. My stepmother, whom I’d never met until your funeral, brought a recent picture of you just to give to me. You’re on your Harley Davidson sporting a long, white beard that I’d never seen you wear. You look happy, and that’s how I want to remember you – even if the man staring back at me is much older than the last one I saw face to face. 
 

I’ve noticed that oftentimes when someone loses a parent, they talk about how great they were and how greatly they will be missed – even if everyone else knows they weren’t even all that close. I can’t bring myself to do that, either. I’m not going to say you were a good Daddy. You weren’t. And I’m allowed to mourn a relationship that never really was.

A lot of things transpired that no one really knows about. This is not the time or the place to talk about the specific reasons why we were estranged. But we were. And honestly, not a day has gone by, before or after your death that I haven’t thought of you.

Sadly, wisdom does not set in before wrinkles do. I have quite a few for 27, and I’ve realized that I’ve just recently started gaining maturity and maybe a little wisdom. I have been “coming into myself” for a couple years, and part of me wishes that I had made it to the point that I reached back out to you. Part of me wishes you were here to see it. What I’ve become, what I’m becoming. And how much I look like my Momma, but have your nose.

You know, Dad, being cremated is so much different than being buried in a casket. At least in the casket you know they are all in there. And you get one final look at the person you loved. I can understand and respect your wishes, but everything now about your being, it seems, is reduced down to that box. Your piercing blue eyes. Your sparse spiky hair. Your aged tan skin. Your open, half-smile. Nothing of it left but ashes.

On the other hand, with it is all the discord. All the hateful words, all the misunderstandings, the differing perspectives that we could never reconcile. The ill will I had in my heart for you, at one point in time. And somehow, even my broken heart that I never really had a Daddy-daughter relationship with you. All of it burned down to ashes that I’ll keep a memory of but never again hold in my hands or my heart.

I’m not so sure that I’ll ever completely get over the regret that I didn’t try harder. I always put off making another phone call, thinking I’d have more time to talk to you again. Waiting for the kids to get just a little bit older. Making half-hearted reasons why I shouldn’t try again. Reminding myself of why I was right and making myself feel a little more justified. I’m sorry for my pride. I will say that I thought I was making the right decision, and now I just don’t know.

All that being said, I’ll circle back to say this – you weren’t really a good Daddy. But what you were, I’ve learned, was something so much greater than just what a good dad is. You were a new creation. Your soul was saved by a mighty God. His grace runs so much deeper than any bitterness my heart can hold; and truthfully, there’s not even much of that left. I can rest in knowing that you became complete in Him. And I have hope that one day we will see each other as God intended, without the issues of sin or pride or this earth getting in the way.

It’s odd Dad, but with your death I regained relationships with people I hadn’t seen since before we parted ways. I do not mean that disrespectfully, but it’s like God closed one door while he opened a dozen others. I intend to make the most of this and allow myself and my children the family bond that we have all been craving. Messy endings, but new beginnings. And I thank you.

The grief comes in the quiet moments. After everyone is gone and thinks I’m okay. When they think I should be okay. I’m not quite sure if it’s because I’m afraid to completely break down, or if it truly is the grace of God getting me through this, but I haven’t bawled yet. I’ve cried some quiet tears, and felt the ache in my heart. I do know that there is a peace now, that you are in Heaven and that it does not beseech me to dwell on either of our mistakes. But every now and then I do feel a sting. I’m sure I’m not finished grieving, and with the complicated nature of our relationship I feel as though it may take a while. I get so tired of people assuming that I'm okay because "but you and your dad weren't close, right?" Hurts my feelings, really. But what I do know is that everything is going to be okay, and that I have learned so very much through the experience of losing you, Dad. My life will not be the same and hopefully the lives of everyone else I encounter won’t be, either. Until I see you again – Melissa.